THANKS - October 28, 2013 - Inspiration from Source: Life is a gift and every day is a new opportunity to give thanks. I remember a few months ago - before the meditation began - I looked at my 740 friends on facebook and thought - "man that's a lot of people I don't know so well, and who really don't know much about me." (I now have another hundred or so! It's amazing!)

I was undergoing a major transformation already, even before I sat down and looked deeply inward. Before I began meditating, and before I began hearing a voice in my head that helped me lose weight, focus my mind, and open my heart. I think maybe, mortality stood in front of me and I was wondering if it could just get a move on as I was tired, bone weary...and a little bit bored. I was buried under sadness after sadness, and the responsibility of being an adult and running a business was no longer fun - it was a real hassle. But then someone walked in and hit me upside the head and said, "Snap out of it!" Luckily, I heard it!

A psychic recently said to me, "you have been in an earthquake and the earth has been falling away." As the lbs started to fall off, and as I started to feel a load lift, the burden dissipate, I looked around and realized I was seeing myself again. The person I was had been buried. So, I consciously reached out to caress, and pamper and love - that inner self. I stopped worrying about what was "expected" and returned to being who I am. I let the rest go.

I used to be a girl who ran too fast, who danced in the streets, who sang in the grocery stores, who was affectionate to the point of embarrassment and who threw myself into fountains. I am again. That. Feels. AWESOME!

The path has been long, and in an effort to change my friend status - that feeling of digital acquaintance - I began to let everyone in. I began to just lay it on the line in front of my "friends." This is who I am - so you know...know me.

Some have said I've let you all in a little too much. Well, I figure you don't have to read what I write, and if it's truly offensive to you to see someone become free and open and happy again - you can block me. If people who live their life as a walking musical are too much - well, you can turn away. I've had worse happen than that, I can assure you. But for the most part, I've seen that as I let you in, you are letting me in. It's an amazing feeling. Love. Unconditional. It's really beautiful.

Here is the gift of having shared with you all. Just as I needed to be really connected, to feel a hand in my hand, a kiss on my cheek, loving arms around me. Just as I needed people to say, "you are loved..." I have been blessed to know that this is not a grid relationship I have developed - it is a love network. A force I had not reckoned on. I feel that I have gone from having digital friends - those who only know my platitudes and my photo blasts - to having a network of people who really know me - many of whom really love me. I want to get off my "but" (and I mean it as a conjunction, not a physical body part) and get out there and see you all face to face.

The gift is that I have shared myself with you completely, and in return so many of you have touched me in ways I cannot begin to process yet by sharing yourselves with me.

I made a choice - to open this gift daily and dance in joy at the gift I have received. I sing at the top of my lungs (and my kids sing with me). I choose to love every moment that I have left - even when they are painful. I choose to love you, and to know you.

This week with my mother has been a gift of learning, a gift of family - and a gift of friendships that have crossed off the grid, and into the physical plain. I cannot express the depth of my gratitude for this gift of life, and if it ends tomorrow, I feel so very, very blessed to have you in it. Thank you.

Namaste.